


Your heartbeat under my ear (is calming)

by Atty



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Established Relationship, F/F, Happy Ending, Kara hates when people leave her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-13 09:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12980682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atty/pseuds/Atty
Summary: Kara has been withdrawing for weeks and Cat hasn't been able to do anything. When Alex brightens her mood immediately, Cat can't help but feel a little jealous.





	Your heartbeat under my ear (is calming)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RedSnow1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedSnow1/gifts).



> Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoy this one :)

Cat Grant does not _do_ failure. She does not _do_ incompetence. When she puts her mind to something, she does so fully intending to do it correctly.

That's how she'd gone into this relationship with Kara. All guns blazing, determined to hold nothing back. There are enough failed relationships in her past (through no fault of her own), and she'd wanted this one to be different. She'd wanted this one to work. What was the point of dating someone like Kara, someone who would try just as hard, if she didn't take advantage of that fact?

Which made the current situation that much worse. She'd tried, she'd tried for days, _weeks_ even, to find some solution to the problem at hand. Cat had tried everything she could think of, done everything that had worked in the past, anything and everything that came to mind to break Kara out of her funk.

It hadn't been just a funk, Cat knows that. She knows there's more to the situation, more that Kara is dealing with. And she'd tried to be open to dealing with that as well but no matter what she did Kara stayed withdrawn. Not from the relationship, Kara had been perfectly clear that it had nothing to do with anything Cat did or didn't do, that she still wanted to be with Cat.

But she'd been quiet even then, even when they curled up together on a couch or under the blankets of their bed. Their lovemaking had changed as well, becoming tender and full of long pauses where Kara would just look at her before finally continuing what she was doing.

And Cat didn't mind the attention. She could still feel the love in every one of Kara's touches. She could still see the devotion in Kara's eyes. But she could also see a shadow, something Kara was dealing with that she couldn't solve. And that made her feel powerless in a way she didn't like one bit.

It's not until Alex returns from an undercover mission a few states away that Kara begins to perk back up, and the flare of jealousy that sparks in Cat isn't easy to shake off.

She's always known the sisters were close, always known that any relationship with Kara would include space for her bond with Alex. And she'd never minded that fact. The sisters were close, practically inseparable, and she knows how much Kara depends on that. Alex had been and still is the person Kara depends on to feel at home on Earth.

And usually, that's fine. Cat would be lying if she said she enjoyed that fact, but she knows her reaction is unreasonable. Kara and Alex have been sisters for half of Kara's life. Alex had been there for Kara during the hardest point in Kara's life, and that couldn't be erased. Cat didn't want to see that erased.

But it still stung, at times. She'd been with Kara for two years now, two years following three years of fighting her attraction. For two of those Kara had been her assistant, and Cat was able to hold back, clinging to standards of propriety and boundaries. Then when Kara had been promoted, she'd run for distance, hiding in a yurt of all places to avoid her feelings. But the most important lesson she'd learned from her time away had been there was no avoiding them.

So she'd returned. She'd returned, and helped save the city, and then she'd come clean to Kara about what she felt. Cat hadn't expected anything then, but she'd built her entire life around honesty and telling the hard stories. She couldn't justify hiding from it any longer.

And then Kara had smiled, that bright and beautiful smile that could still steal the breath from Cat's lungs. "I never thought I'd be lucky enough to hear those words," she'd said, and Cat had fallen. No careful dive for her, not this time. She'd fallen into that smile and all the love it held, and she'd never wanted to look back.

Two years since that day, two of the happiest in Cat's life. And yet she still couldn't help Kara the way Alex did so effortlessly.

She'd known Alex would always be able to do things she couldn't. That much shared history would always count for something. But she hadn't expected things to change so quickly when the agent returned. She hadn't expected Kara to smile without a trace of pain as soon as Alex walked in the room, hadn't expected her to laugh in the middle of whatever conversation they were having. Not when it had been weeks since she'd done either.

"You should go easier on yourself," Alex murmurs when she enters the kitchen to grab another beer, giving Cat a knowing look. "You can come sit with us, you know. It is allowed."

Cat shoots her a look but doesn't respond at once, weighing her options before opening her mouth. "I wanted to give you two some space, you've been gone for months now. And obviously whatever you're doing is helping."

"Of course it is." Alex is confident, assured, and somehow it sets Cat on edge. "Cat, it's helping because Kara can hear my heartbeat, that's it. She listens to the heartbeat of everyone close to her all the time, and if one of those people is too far to hear, she starts to withdraw. It's like there's a color missing to her. That's all. Now that I'm back, she'll be fine."

"Kara never said-"

"Of course she didn't. She doesn't realize she does it half the time. It took years for us to figure out what was going on. Like I said, the heartbeats are like individual colors to her." Alex looks understanding, and Cat fights to keep from bristling in some misguided sense of anger. She's not being patronized, she's being informed.

And it explains a great deal about Kara's behavior, including the way she always needs to curl up with her head on Cat's chest when her powers are blown. Or the way she'll cock her head to the side at seemingly random times before getting back to whatever she's working on.

"If you're sure I'm not interrupting, I think I will join you," Cat says as she quickly tops off her drink, trying to pretend she wasn't loitering in the kitchen and longing to be included even as she was afraid to come between the sisters.

Alex doesn't answer, just smiles a knowing smile that Cat recognizes all too well. It's graced her own face more than once over the years.

"Hey," Kara says as Cat enters the living room, reaching out to pull Cat down next to her on the sofa. "You disappeared earlier."

"I wanted to give you and Alex some time to catch up," Cat explains again. "I know how much you missed her."

Usually Kara can visit Alex several times a month while she's away on assignment, but this one had been top secret and too deeply undercover to risk any contact. Cat doesn't know why she hadn't made the connection until Alex said something, but now that it's been said she knows that those few visits must keep Kara going, and their lack must have chafed more than Cat would've expected.

"Yeah, but I know you've been worried," Kara says, leaning over to rest her head over Cat's heart, the same way she does when her powers are gone. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," Cat whispers, leaning down to place a gentle kiss to the top of Kara's head. "I know how close you two are, and I know what her absence does to you."

She might have only learned the whole of it just now, but that doesn't matter. She knows now. And even without that knowledge she'd never hold Kara's feelings against her. The young hero had been through enough in her life, she deserved the freedom to feel whatever she needed to feel, whether rational or irrational.

"I don't like when the people I love go away," Kara admits, her voice soft enough Cat barely catches the words.

And oh, now Cat is thinking back to all the times Alex has gone away, to all the times Carter visits his father in London. To all the times Kara gets quieter than usual. It's never been as bad as these last few weeks, but the reaction is still there.

With a jolt of guilt Cat realizes something she'd missed before. She'd left, gone to dive and explore the world. She'd stayed away for a year, trying to ignore her feelings before realizing it's useless.

And when she'd returned, ready to face her emotions and what it all would mean, Kara had been right there with her. Kara had already loved her, Cat had been able to see that as soon as she'd smiled. She hadn't needed to say a single word, it had been clear in the way her face lit up.

Which means that year she'd been away? The year she'd tried to protect Kara, she'd been hurting her instead. More than she'd realized, more than she'd ever considered possible.

"Well then, we'll have to make everyone stay right here, won't we?" The words are quiet, with none of the guilt that's settled into Cat's gut shining through. She's too good at controlling her tone when she needs to, even with Kara.

She'll do better. They _all_ will. There will be no more hurting a young woman who has already suffered more than enough in her lifetime.

Not if Cat has anything to say about it.


End file.
